Mike neelley

I spent much of my first twenty-one years as a Christian believing I was a disappointment to God. This may sound strange regarding a gospel called good news. The unconditionality of salvation and the conditionality of church performance culture religion felt like a “bait and switch.” Where salvation from sin and forgiveness of sin was a gift of grace, moving forward in this relationship with Jesus looked a lot like trying not to sin and trying hard to be good, all by my own efforts, while at the same time feeling powerless to truly change anything about myself. I read my bible a lot, went to church and prayed. I did all sorts of religious stuff to “check the boxes” and be a “good Christian” in the eyes of God and the church community. Deep down I felt an enormous amount of failure, condemnation, and futility.  

The worst part was that I was sure that God was as disappointed in me as I was in myself. I would have said I loved God and He loved me, but I was afraid of God and what He might ask of me if I truly surrendered myself to Him. I didn’t want to come close and know Him.

A friend suggested a book, Neil T. Anderson’s The Bondage Breaker: Overcoming negative thoughts, irrational feelings, and habitual sins.  

As I read, this book exposed many of the unhealthy ideas I had come to believe about God and false things I’d come to believe about myself to feel accepted, significant and secure. It spoke of a new identity completely based solely on what Jesus has done; one that had nothing to do with what I do or don’t do, have done or not done. It unmasked the true voices behind the condemnation in me - the devil, the flesh, and the world - and showed me the battleground of my mind. It taught about our authority in Christ over this enemy. On and on, like a surgeon, it laid open, and then through prayer, removed cancerous growths in my heart and mind. I devoured it like a starving man. It was such good news to me.

This vibrant, new relationship with the living Jesus has been characterized by a growing intimacy and joy where faith isn’t just belief but is belief with expectation attached to it. I couldn’t wait to be with Jesus. I began to hear God’s voice and experience the Holy Spirit in powerful ways. 

This was given significant shape through www.prmi.org and their Dunamis Project where I have been a participant, worship leader, intercessor and teacher for over 20 years. From 2008-2021, the Holy Spirit led me to work with Tierra Nueva, an international, multi-ethnic ministry to those affected by immigration, incarceration, and addiction. It was in this place that I discovered good news of the love of God the Father for orphans, outcasts, and addicts – and for me.

I am a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary (1999), ordained by the Presbyterian Church, U.S.A. (2004). I received my training as a spiritual director through Soul Formation in Portland, Oregon. Most recently, I published a book called “Hearing the Heartbeat of God” which was released in May 2023.